Millennial’s Guide to Film// Film’s “Less Endowed” Club
Since this column has basically become a written internal monologue of mine, and I have confirmed that my father does not read my writing, there is pretty much nothing that I won’t discuss. Today, we’re talking about a very special club that I happen to belong to by default, the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (not to be confused with the low budget lesbian film). We’re a special group of people who have learned to embrace (our lack of) god given cleavage.
Unfortunately, as a society that has been tainted by the media, we find comfort when the entertainment industry glorifies something that we see in ourselves, and today I’m talking about tits. Small tits. While bodacious bosoms have been an object of desire even before Marilyn flaunted her goods, tiny titties have also made their mark on the silver screen. Today, I pay tribute to the small boobs that have made a big mark in film history.
Penny Lane – Almost Famous
We’ll start with my personal favorite, and the driving force to this article. This film was one of many cinematic experiences that led me to question my sexuality; I was infatuated with Kate Hudson as the ever so dreamy Penny Lane. Not only did I love her, I wanted to be her. I drove to my neighborhood Good Will, bought the first fur coat I saw, and researched local bands that I could become a groupie for (Spoiler: It didn’t work out).
Penny Lane’s small chest and soft features present her character with a sense of innocence when in reality she lives an incredibly toxic lifestyle, and faces a lack of sense of self throughout the film. Despite the underlying tragedy of her character, Hudson took on this role and made it the larger than life dream that every 16-year-old girl wants to be, and every rock star wants to have by his side; despite her lack of womanly curves.
Lana – Risky Business
Lana isn’t your average call girl. She has the ultimate girl-next-door look, the sweetest voice that exudes purity, and even the way she dresses throughout the film is virginal; making the passionate love scene between De Mornay and Cruise even more exhilarating. Very much like Penny Lane, her physical features present themselves as a paradox to her lifestyle, which is what makes these characters so intriguing.
Lisbeth Salander- The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Rooney Mara killed it in this movie. The silent rage that she radiates throughout the film works so perfectly in conjunction with the bad girl look that she’s rocking. Mara has a very androgynous look in this film, which is cohesive with her body type and the cold personality of her character, Lisbeth.
Lisbeth is rough around the edges, and rarely shows any sign of warmth or affection. We inherently associate a womanly figure with a sense of nurturing, because Mara’s physicality does not appear soft, but sharp and unwelcoming. We sense that her character will not display the gentile attributes that we often expect from female characters. Yet, she still possesses a sense of forbidden sex appeal that is displayed in her relationship with Daniel Craig’s character in the film.
Angela Hayes – American Beauty
I considered not including this one just because it’s a bit soon to appreciate anything that has to do with Kevin Spacey having sexual encounters with someone underage, but fuck it, it’s a damn movie. As I have mentioned in articles before, American Beauty is the movie that made me fall in love with film so I have to give credit where it is due.
Lester Burnham’s (Kevin Spacey) original goal in this movie is to attract his daughter’s hot best friend, Angela Hayes (Mena Suvari). Suvari is so flat chested that, as an audience, we almost feel like we should look away when Lester unbuttons her shirt. There is something about the porcelain white color of her skin, and the fragility of her body beneath his that suddenly makes her character incredibly vulnerable.